One of my favorite mysteries on the rosary is the fifth Joyful Mystery...finding Jesus in the Temple. On my prayer guide it says Fruit of the Mystery: Joy in Finding Jesus. I remember talking to someone about this mystery and they pointed out that it is also one of the seven sorrows of Mary.
During this Advent, I encourage you to think back on when you found Jesus. Did you discover him as a child at Christmas? Did you find out about him when you were open to listening to someone evangelizing? Did you seek him out when you were in so much pain, despair and torment that you gave in to finding out more than his name?
Jesus is there in all these situations.
I found him when I was a child at Christmas. One of my earliest memories as a child was putting up a link each day of Advent that had part of the Christmas story in it. I looked forward to every night of hearing my mother read the verse and then I would add that link to the chain.
I later discovered more about Jesus when I attended a Passion play. I was in college studying theater and I witnessed the power of drama. Even though I heard about Jesus healing people in the Gospels, I suddenly saw in this renactment Jesus heal Jairus's daughter (played by a kid I used to babysit). The moment she woke up and hugged Jesus made me recognize the power of drama and how it could be used as a way to evangelize.
Then I toured with a company called Theater of the Word, Inc. and I saw Jesus in a new way. I saw a frail old priest that sounded like he was breathing his last breath consecrate the Host and I saw a transformation. I couldn't understand transubstantiation but I saw the priest become strong and vibrant and he believed he was holding Jesus. I remember thinking “I don't know what this is all about, but he believes the Host is Jesus.”
I became Catholic and I accepted the teachings of the Church. Just because I accepted the teachings did not mean I completely understood them. I accepted the idea of suffering but it would take practicing the devotion of the consecration to Jesus through Mary several times before I would start to really understand suffering as I do now.
From my diary entry dated 2016
Catholic art used to freak me out with a bloody Jesus, because "my Jesus" was clean and pristine. Now I look at art with the suffering face of Jesus and all I can see is His love for us...for me. I am (with several others of my parish) consecrating myself to Jesus through Mary. This March 25th will be my 5th anniversary of practicing this devotion. This is the last devotion I would have considered 6 years ago because I had heard "you could suffer". I thought "Well, I might be Catholic (I was one year into the Church) but I don't do suffering!" But every time, I would pray "Lord, I love you so much. I want to know you better." I would get the reply "Know my Father and my mother." I was trying to focus on God the Father, because though I had respect for Mary, Our Blessed Mother, I thought I would focus on the more approachable person. I kept encountering people (by the name of Catherine) who would ask "Are you consecrated to Jesus through Mary?" These people would be strangers and that would be their opening line to me. I finally said "Yes" to this practice, I have learned about how much Jesus loves us...me. Leading people in this devotion, I have experienced suffering, consolation and joy when I renew my "vow".
This Lent, I have been focusing on different aspects of Our Lord's Passion, from the Upper Room to the Crucifixion. I told my spiritual director that this Lent I feel guilty that I am filled with Joy every time I look on the Crucifix, because I know how much Jesus loves me. It could be read as sick to an outsider that you could look at a man bloodied and tortured as Our Lord on the Cross and find JOY there, but I think it is because LOVE is present in that picture of suffering.
But this relationship is a two way street, if it is a relationship. We all have crosses. Some are petty that we choose to carry. Some our huge and it is only through God's grace that we can get out of bed in the morning. We need to talk to Jesus about these crosses. Ask Him to help us with them or just vent at Him about the fact they exist. He wants us to talk with Him, because NO ONE can understand suffering like Our Lord, who suffered the greatest. Our suffering can also help us to understand our neighbor, who may be suffering more or less than us. You know what suffering tastes like, so pray for them and prompt them to also take their suffering to Jesus.
Now it is nearing the end of 2020 which has been ravaged by plague, social unrest, and political maelstrom. This Lent many of us faced not being able to attend mass due to Covid-19 restrictions put in place by local or state government. Regular mass attendees, devote Catholics threw up their voices to cry out in anger, frustration and grief. They could not receive the Eucharist. I have been reflecting on that as we near Advent and numbers of positive cases of Covid-19 start to climb threatening the same actions from our governments. We are so spoiled here in the Archdiocese of St. Louis. We have a lot of priests and we have an active prospering seminary. There are states, counties, territories that wish they could have daily mass, but due to lack of vocations they can't. They are in the desert. Some of them literally as well as spiritually.
We as Catholics have the ability to find Jesus in every moment of our time line. He lived it. Joy, suffering, surrounded by throngs of people who loved him, surrounded by those who wanted to kill him and even the event of being forsaken. If we encounter another time when we must be without the Eucharist (may we also be without in-door dining, bars, sports and entertainment too), may we unite ourselves to Christ on the cross when he yelled out “Why oh why hast thou forsaken me?” Jesus felt complete abandonment at that moment. We also know that Jesus had at that moment one person, who had not left him and who loved him very much. His Mother, whom he gave to be our mother, Mary.
May we entrust ourselves to Mary this Advent as God once did when He came to dwell among us.
